Finally it's over! The sugar challenge ends

Part of me would like to say that, after my week-long experiment of having less than 10g of refined sugar a day, I have decided to carry on treading this 'virtuous path'. But no, I'm quite ready to take the first exit point, if only to give my poor stomach a break. One thing I have learnt is that I definitely don't DO Weetabix!

I was surprised at how little I craved that absent sweet 'sugar hit', but I think that, over time, the monotony of my diet would have depressed me. I had half-hoped that, when I reintroduced my treats, I would have an enhanced sugar taste, making them taste all the sweeter...but this hasn't happened. Perhaps if I had kept it up for longer, my tastes would have changed but I don't particularly want to find out!

Yet I did notice a definite change in my energy levels. The mid-afternoon slump was greatly diminished and I felt less nauseous when my alarm jerked me out of bed each morning, after too little sleep once again.  But on the flip slide I have been generally a bit more drained and weary this week and feeling forced to go to the gym most days feels a real drudge. However I can't say for sure whether this is due to a lack of ready glucose for my muscles, chronic sleep deprivation or overdoing it...I have noticed that I am developing a problem because I don't rank a weight-training workout as highly as a cardio one. As a result, I have occasionally "just done a few weights" on a rest day, feeling that these don't really count as proper exercise. It was such a momentous change to introduce two rest days a week and my hold is beginning to slip. I know this is dangerous - once it becomes habitual to work out almost every day, it rapidly becomes almost impossible for me to tolerate a day off without feeling grossly fat and lazy.

I'm shattered - time for bed! Thanks for reading!

Feeding some of my leftover Weetabix to our new "pets" at work...

Update on the no-sugar challenge: Day 5

I'm really struggling a bit now. My stomach has decided that it definitely doesn't like Weetabix and I have spent most of today feeling bloated, which makes it difficult to know if I am actually hungry or not. I can't afford to only eat when I feel like it though, so am having to "eat by the clock". I'm looking forward to giving my innards a break when the week is up, even though there is an argument to be had in persevering for another week to see if the symptoms improve. But I'm also getting a bit fed up with the monotony and my mood has been rather flat - although whether that is due to stress, sleep deprivation or sugar craving, it's hard to tell. My legs have been aching more than usual as well - could it be that they aren't getting the usual glycogen replenishment that high-glucose foods so readily supply?

On the other hand, my sense of taste seems to have been subtly enhanced, making meals with beetroot or olives more interesting! But still can't do much about those Weetabix...

Speaking of which, I'd better go and prepare supper... Night Night

Roll on Day 7!

Update 1 on the (almost) zero added sugar challenge

Day three already! I can't quite believe how time has flown and how, so far, I haven't experienced too many withdrawal cravings for my usual daily sugar fixes. That said, it hasn't all been plain sailing...



The stomach upset I mentioned in my first post persisted through much of yesterday and I was on the verge of packing the whole experiment in, but suddenly it cleared up in the evening. Still no idea what set it off - it could have been anything from a raw pepper to a dodgy apple. And I found that my energy levels had been slightly more constant during the afternoon at work - or was that just the usual rush of adrenaline that comes from the "Friday feeling"?

A very new kind of supper for me...

I'm coping better with the Weetabix than I thought I would. Instead of making me too bloated, sometimes I actually still feel hungry afterwards! As for the almond milk, I can't detect any subtle, nutty influence - do I just have a highly unrefined palate? At the moment, the main annoyance is the sheer monotony of it all...as I haven't found many alternatives, it is going to be Weetabix every night, with fresh fruit. I have been tempted several times to sprinkle a handful of raisins or dried cranberries on top but one of the "rules" of this game is that I can't add any more dried fruit to my daily diet: although the sugars ARE natural, they are concentrated in a highly unnatural way. I'm used to being able to choose from a plethora of delightful options (which can be a problem in itself sometimes - I may write at a future stage how "food choices" often put me in a panic) but I remind myself that many people in the world get limited or even no choice when it comes to their meals and it can only do me moral good to taste their experiences.

Guess which one is my version?

But I have come up with something new tonight - my own take on a "low sugar" cheesecake! Only three ingredients - Ryvita crackers for the base, with mashed banana and cream cheese for the filling. Then pop into the freezer - simples! I can't comment on the taste yet, but at 200 calories, it is comparable to the WeightWatchers version but with less than a tenth of the amount of refined sugar: < 2g verses > 21.5g.



At the moment though, I think it's going to feel wonderful to be able to reintroduce the "sweet treats" when this challenge ends. If there are any Weetabix left, I can see them being fed to the locusts at work...

My Life...only now with no aded sugar!

Let the challenge commence! For one week, I have decided to try and kick my unhealthy “addiction” to sweet treats.

When M, my trainer, set me the “calorie counting” exercise, I was shocked to discover how the largest proportion of my daily calorie intake came from the two treats I allowed myself – one after lunch and supper before bed. I’m afraid these weren’t usually “healthy indulgences”, but more along the lines of cake, chocolate and flavoured yoghurts (all portion-controlled, of course). In fact, my “after lunch treat” was typically a higher calorie load than my “main lunch” (a box of salad with a protein). With my insatiable thirst for knowledge on all things nutrition, I have been reading a lot recently about how refined sugar has replaced fat as public enemy number one. It is almost criminal how much sugar is innocuously secreted into processed food – everything from yoghurt, pasta sauces and bread let alone the dessert aisle. There is increasing evidence that overloading our bodies with readily-available glucose, rather than the more natural complex sugars which take longer to break down and be released, promotes insulin resistance and hence diabetes and obesity.

Just some of my sugar-loaded "little indulgences"...

And once you start looking, sugar is EVERYWHERE. According to the World Health Organisation, we should aim to keep our intake of refined sugar to 25g or under each day. When I totted up the amount in my “treats”, I was often surpassing 100g a day! Surprisingly, it was often the low calorie/WeightWatchers versions that were the worst offenders. Perhaps it’s something you’d like to try – using the nutritional information on your food packets to calculate your daily “sugar load”? You may be surprised…meanwhile here are some examples:

 Galaxy Cake Bar - 13.6 g

Special K "Biscuit Moments" - only 99 calories but 6.8g sugar

Libertie Greek-Style yoghurt 100g - 13.1 g

Cadbury Caramel "Pot of Joy" 70g - 18.2 g

Rolo pudding 70g - 17.4 g

So I have set myself the challenge of seeing if, for one week, I can reduce my daily intake of refined sugar to less than 10g. This immediately puts most of my usual treats off the cards! It will be hard – these are the food treats I look forward to the most all day, the ones which are earned through those miserable hours in the gym on the spin bike and weights. But I want to see if I can, if not completely eradicate, then at least “tone down” my sweet tooth and go on with a little less sugar in my life. Perhaps my mood will be less irritable, my sleep deeper and my afternoons free of the typical sudden energy drain around 4.00 ‘ o clock?

And in with the new....

But I can’t afford to cut any calories out – so how to make up the difference? A milky drink perhaps – but even milk often has a tonne of sugar added – although I have found a good almond milk brand. Nuts, a good healthy choice, but I find too many of these upset my digestion. Cheese? Perhaps a little, but I’m nervous about the high fat content. It’s here that not eating starchy carbs (bread, rice, potato, pasta, etc.) makes things particularly awkward. So I have settled on replacing my after-lunch snack with rice crackers with mashed banana/peanut butter and as for my supper, I am going to be brave and try Weetabix with milk. Although I have struggled with cereals in the past (and porridge is a definite no-no for my innards), a friend of mine at a similar stage of recovery swears by her “cereal suppers” and I found Weetabix to be one of the easier foods to manage when I was in hospital. I’m keen to see how my body responds – will I have maddening cravings? Will I feel bloated and sick? Will I gain weight through having to eat a slightly larger volume of food?

Although I was excited to start this challenge - and invested a lot of time wandering supermarket aisles, checking labels – I’m already struggling on Day 1. Something I ate earlier upset me and now my stomach feels like an inflated balloon and I still have to force those Weetabix down. Not a good start….

….But, as they say on MasterMind, “I’ve started so I will finish”. And I will be posting updates here on how I go. Stay tuned!

First test - how did it go?

Everyone knows that you lose weight by eating less and doing more. So, coming from the opposite direction, this means I have to put more IN...especially if I'm not prepared to give up exercise.

But how much? You might wonder why I don't just tuck in with gay abandon, indulging in a super-deluxe foodie fest and cleaning out the ice-cream maker at Pizza Express? Two main reasons why I can't - over the years, my eating habits have become increasingly restricted by my rigid rules - rules that have become entrenched so deeply now that to betray them is to bring on sudden, swift, unmerciless shame and guilt. Which would be one thing if it stayed in my head, but it breaks out in an physical, squirming discomfort - awful bloated stomach, churning guts - that makes me feel fat, obese, so so greedy.... Which makes it even harder to eat, so that the cycle can only be broken by a "cleansing" period of fasting.

Then there is the fact that simply chucking a load of calories into a starved body can bring on Refeeding Syndrome - potentially lethal and the reason why severe cases of anorexia are treated in hospital or an inpatient unit. Perhaps in a future post, I will describe my own frightening experience of this.

But the weight has to go on if I want to get back to my PhD! In the end, M and I settled on adding an extra 310 calories each day on top of my existing diet - even on rest days (eek!). This was based on the conventional wisdom that an extra 500 calories each day adds up to a pound of weight gain each week. However, the optimal calorie increase to promote muscle gain over fat (which is the whole point of the weight training!) is 125 extra a day (for women). But I can't afford to go at this rate to meet my targets in time - hence we reached this compromise.

Consulting my "Nutrition Bible"

300 calories might not sound a lot.....yet many of my salad-based "main meals" often fail to add up to this. If I'm don't want to increase the volume of what I eat, I need to target the calorie-dense "big hitters". I also need to think about what works practically, in terms of fitting in with my working day. In this sense, nuts are a godsend - high in calories, yes, but also packed with the good fats that health shops rave about, besides many vital vitamins and minerals that are hard to find elsewhere.

Some other forms that 300 calories can take include:

3 Freddo bars

10 rice crackers or Ryvita

~ 50g of peanut butter

3 eggs

A "diet" ready meal (WeightWatchers or Be Good to Yourself range)

100g raisins

3 kilograms of cucumber

As I don't own a cucumber farm, I've taken to having an apple and a handful of nuts on the tram home on "work days" and a hot cross bun with a bit of cheese on non-work days (generally I don't eat bread but can make an exception when it is sweet and the calorie count is on the packet...).

When I started doing this, almost two weeks ago, I was convinced that I would see a noticeable difference the next time I stepped on the scales. Yet I got mixed reactions to my "big change". Whilst some friends congratulated me on taking such a "brave step", one of the specialists at the Medical Centre was adamant that it would take much MUCH more. And I had been surprised at how well I had managed - no bloating or feeling unbearably full. If anything, my body felt more hungry, as though I have woken a dormant creature that now prowls about inside me, anticipating the next "meal"...

If I'm getting distracted, then Mandeville brings the snack trolley along...

Today I decided that enough time had passed for any effects to start to show. Bleary-eyed at six in the morning, before eating or drinking anything, I checked my weight.

No change.

I can't believe this, even as I write this. I don't want anyone else to believe it either, as it simply can't be true. So I will check again on Thursday. I am still convinced (and bracing myself!) that I will see that the numbers have crept up. Then I can simply carry on with the plan. Yes, I just didn't leave enough time to see a difference, that's all. Simple.

But if not....back to the drawing board and - who knows? - my whole value system from exercise may be under threat. Things may have to get much more uncomfortable...

In my next post, I will also be announcing a different sort of food challenge I am taking on, one which you might like to try! Thanks for reading, may you have a blessed week to come.

A whole new "Weight-Game"...

A couple of months ago, whenever conversation turned to gym workouts and fitness routines, I would always say “Oh no, I never do anything with weights – it just looks like pure TORTURE!” So how is it that I have learnt a whole new lexicon of words – dumbbell squats, deadlifts, point of failure, eccentric contraction – and can often be found lurking in the free weights zone or on the leg press? I have finally been introduced to the gleaming silver machines which I used to simply march past on my way to spin classes and can appreciate exactly which muscles they target. My weight-training programme has begun in earnest and – to my great surprise – I have rather taken to it.

I was initially apprehensive when my trainer, M ,outlined his plans for me and he could sense my reluctance. The trouble is, I am addicted to the “Cardio-High” that I get from spinning, high intensity interval training (HIIT) and (before my hip gave up) running. I love that feeling of post-workout exertion – breath coming out in rasps, chest burning as though it had been scoured with a wire brush, legs heavy with fatigued legs....I could go home happy, confident that I had earned my food for that day. I worried that weight training wouldn’t give me the same feeling of having “worked hard” – how could I be confident that I had done enough? Would I feel guilty that I hadn't "earned" the right to eat?

I wonder why they call it a "dead-lift"?

What convinced me in the end was M’s assurance that weight training was essential to promote lean muscle gain over fat deposition as I increased the calories in my diet. After all, if I HAVE to put on weight to go back to University, I want it to the right sort! And it certainly wouldn't hurt me to have a bit more muscle, especially on my arms. During my worst years of starvation, I carried on running so my legs were spared a lot of deterioration - so my body turned to my arms as a source of protein. They dwindled away to nothing yet my wind was so warped, I couldn't even see the difference in the mirror. Even now, they remain pathetically weak. I'm fed up of being the "damsel in distress" who always needs a strong gent to help her get her bag onto the luggage rack on the train!

So two times a week, I go through my exercises under M's direction. Leg extension, rear-rows, leg curl, pull-downs, etc. Apparently, my technique is good....a shame that the weights are so pitifully low! I feel such a weed next to the "big boys"...especially when the Sheffield Eagles Rugby Squad troop in. Some of them can shift weights twice as heavy as my entire body!

On the read-row...who would have thought it?

But I can only improve and I have already managed to "up the weight" for a few exercises. Then again, I do have a long way to go before I even have a semblance of the strength of a "normal" person. And meanwhile, I have been struggling to manage a "weights-only" routine and often end up doing a bit of cardio to get a bit of "burn"...

Yet it does show that it is possible to change your mindset, even in the depths of this disease. It's a skill I will have to put in place once the weight goes on and I struggle to cope with this...

Healthy new year?

A Happy New Year to you all!

I hope you have had a very peaceful and relaxing Christmas. As I mentioned in my last post, the festive season, with its onslaught of excess, always fills me with trepidation but , on balance, I seemed to cope better with things this year than I thought I would. It was wonderful to rediscover the pleasure of social eating again with my family, with food becoming a lesser issue at each mealtime, giving way to the flow of conversation and making plans for the coming days. 

But there were challenges. I find it hard to stomach seeing others be so relaxed around food ( as they should perfectly well  be!) from the post country walk " oh go on then let's have a mince pie" to absently digging into one of the open boxes of chocolates left scattered about. Meanwhile, separated from the gym, I devised punishing Cardio HIIT routines to perform in the sitting room with the help of an interval timer on my iPad. Dragging myself through this, when no one else in the house is the least concerned about getting enough exercise in that day, does become gruelling. 

I didn't make any specific New Year resolutions: my objective is clear enough but the actions I will have to make each day to get there are likely to change throughout my recovery. But I was inspired to make a different sort of 'Christmas Tree'. No tinsel or baubles but the names of friends, family, loved ones - all the people who I know are on my side, who love me as I am ( unfathomable as that is!), who read this blog, who have sent me messages of support, who just, basically, care. You may very well be on there - I have more names to add but ran out of leaves! When the voice of anorexia is strong, making me baulk at 'putting more in' or having a day off from the gym, I will look to it as a reminder that, if I can't do it for myself, I have enough people to do it for instead! 

Since coming back to Sheffield, I have started working with M, my trainer at the gym, in earnest. The first thing he wanted me to do was to add up all the calories I consumed in a typical day to get some idea of where we were starting at. It's a bit of a faff with scales and calories charts, but as a scientist I have found it fascinating and it has become addictive! It's at times like these when I am so grateful for the requirements for food manufacturers to put so much nutritional information on their packaging! But it has also been an eye opener.... My meal plan is a little topsy turvey to say the least. The cliches about the  weight- loss lettuce diet are true : salad really doesn't have many calories in it! Some of my 'main meals' came to less than 300 kcal, less even than some of my 'snacks'! Whilst this will help me to identify key areas for improvement, there was an unfortunate consequence. I always used to have some dried dates with my breakfast but this exercise made me realise how LOADED they are in calories. At 350 kcal per 100g, they are on a par with chocolate! Since learning this, I cannot face eating them or even having them in the house. I find them so moorish, the thought of being able to help myself freely to them terrifies me. It's the same reason I can't buy ice cream in bulk, even though it is cheaper than individual portions: it gives the possibility that I can help myself to more than my allowed quota. I have tried swapping the dates for a trail mix, but this probably isn't making up the calorie difference...

A sad note to end on but at least I have a 'base plan' for moving forward. Thank you for reading this far ! I will be writing soon about my new exercise plan and getting to grips with weight training, another new learning curve for me!

I wish you all a healthy and happy new year