Everyone knows that you lose weight by eating less and doing more. So, coming from the opposite direction, this means I have to put more IN...especially if I'm not prepared to give up exercise.
But how much? You might wonder why I don't just tuck in with gay abandon, indulging in a super-deluxe foodie fest and cleaning out the ice-cream maker at Pizza Express? Two main reasons why I can't - over the years, my eating habits have become increasingly restricted by my rigid rules - rules that have become entrenched so deeply now that to betray them is to bring on sudden, swift, unmerciless shame and guilt. Which would be one thing if it stayed in my head, but it breaks out in an physical, squirming discomfort - awful bloated stomach, churning guts - that makes me feel fat, obese, so so greedy.... Which makes it even harder to eat, so that the cycle can only be broken by a "cleansing" period of fasting.
Then there is the fact that simply chucking a load of calories into a starved body can bring on Refeeding Syndrome - potentially lethal and the reason why severe cases of anorexia are treated in hospital or an inpatient unit. Perhaps in a future post, I will describe my own frightening experience of this.
But the weight has to go on if I want to get back to my PhD! In the end, M and I settled on adding an extra 310 calories each day on top of my existing diet - even on rest days (eek!). This was based on the conventional wisdom that an extra 500 calories each day adds up to a pound of weight gain each week. However, the optimal calorie increase to promote muscle gain over fat (which is the whole point of the weight training!) is 125 extra a day (for women). But I can't afford to go at this rate to meet my targets in time - hence we reached this compromise.
Consulting my "Nutrition Bible"
300 calories might not sound a lot.....yet many of my salad-based "main meals" often fail to add up to this. If I'm don't want to increase the volume of what I eat, I need to target the calorie-dense "big hitters". I also need to think about what works practically, in terms of fitting in with my working day. In this sense, nuts are a godsend - high in calories, yes, but also packed with the good fats that health shops rave about, besides many vital vitamins and minerals that are hard to find elsewhere.
Some other forms that 300 calories can take include:
3 Freddo bars
10 rice crackers or Ryvita
~ 50g of peanut butter
3 eggs
A "diet" ready meal (WeightWatchers or Be Good to Yourself range)
100g raisins
3 kilograms of cucumber
As I don't own a cucumber farm, I've taken to having an apple and a handful of nuts on the tram home on "work days" and a hot cross bun with a bit of cheese on non-work days (generally I don't eat bread but can make an exception when it is sweet and the calorie count is on the packet...).
When I started doing this, almost two weeks ago, I was convinced that I would see a noticeable difference the next time I stepped on the scales. Yet I got mixed reactions to my "big change". Whilst some friends congratulated me on taking such a "brave step", one of the specialists at the Medical Centre was adamant that it would take much MUCH more. And I had been surprised at how well I had managed - no bloating or feeling unbearably full. If anything, my body felt more hungry, as though I have woken a dormant creature that now prowls about inside me, anticipating the next "meal"...
If I'm getting distracted, then Mandeville brings the snack trolley along...
Today I decided that enough time had passed for any effects to start to show. Bleary-eyed at six in the morning, before eating or drinking anything, I checked my weight.
No change.
I can't believe this, even as I write this. I don't want anyone else to believe it either, as it simply can't be true. So I will check again on Thursday. I am still convinced (and bracing myself!) that I will see that the numbers have crept up. Then I can simply carry on with the plan. Yes, I just didn't leave enough time to see a difference, that's all. Simple.
But if not....back to the drawing board and - who knows? - my whole value system from exercise may be under threat. Things may have to get much more uncomfortable...
In my next post, I will also be announcing a different sort of food challenge I am taking on, one which you might like to try! Thanks for reading, may you have a blessed week to come.
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